The Influence of Social Skills on Children Behavior

Social skills are very important to be a contributing member of society.  How children learn social skills is most often to observe their parents behavior.  When parents model good social skills, it allows their children to learn good behavior.  Conversely, when parents have poor manners their children pick up these bad habits.

The way that parents treat each other and those around them show kids how to treat others.  A child learning good manners is important to every parent.  We want to teach them good values, but we cannot simply tell them what to do.  We must demonstrate love and respect to all those we come in contact with.  This constant positive example will do more to influence our children than anything else.  If we tell them to speak kindly to others, but speak sharply or degradingly to our spouse or friends, the pervading message is a negative one.  Only when our actions mirror our words are we truly effective. Building family esteem relies upon the social interaction network within a family.

Social skills in children can be taught.  We should teach our kids to respect authority figures. In every stage of life they will have someone in authority over them.  If they are disrespectful they will have many challenges and obstacles in front of them.  When we show respect for our employers, religious leaders, parents and others in positions of authority, we teach our kids that whether you agree with someone or not you can still show love and respect.

When we model good behavior for our kids, it influences them to act well.  Understanding child behavior and teaching them behaviors appropriate for their age and comprehension levels will prevent frustration for both parties.  When parents tell their children what to do but do not follow their own instruction it causes confusion in the child.  This type of hypocrisy can cause resentment and lead to later behavior problems.

Children learn by example.  As parents, we are the main child learning source.  In order for our kids to develop the kind of positive character qualities that we wish for them to have we must model those qualities for them.  I have written many "I Treasure You" notes to my 8 year old daughter and she has caught on -- she now writes them back to me. Her social skills are increasing because she is modeling the positive behavior that I have shown her.

No one is perfect and kids understand this.  They also know when you are making an effort and when you are simply mouthing the words.  The example of your life will have a far more lasting impact than your words.  The question parents need to ask themselves is what is my life telling my kids?  If your life is not conveying the message you want it to, make the changes necessary and your kids will be better for it.