Making a Positive Difference by Affirming the Daughter-Mother Relationship 

When your baby girl is born there is an instant connection with her.  As she grows into a toddler and a preschooler, you are her hero.  The bond between daughter and mother is like nothing else on Earth, there is an adoration that is shared between the two that runs deep.  This bond though is often tested as your daughter grows and becomes her own person.  So how do you keep such a deep and loving bond alive while still allowing her to grow into her own woman?

Connecting with your daughter while she is little is relatively easy, however, as she grows this can become more and more difficult.  As your little girl enters grade school, the mother-daughter relationship while generally still a good one, can suffer from a few bruises.  At this age, children learn to gain knowledge and guidance from people other than their parents.  Often times, it will seem as if teachers have more influence over your daughter than you do. 

One way to stay connected with your daughter during the school day is to write an "I Treasure You" note and tuck it into her lunch box.  This doesn’t have to be anything profound, a simple smiley face or a joke will be enough to remind her that you love her and are thinking of her even when you aren’t right there.  Girls especially love to receive these types of notes and will surely be the envy of all of her friends. A written note can be kept and read again and again. Of course, as your girl grows in her ability to read, you can write "I Treasure You" notes that correspond to her reading level.

As a girl grows, the message needs to be the same, but the tactics will need to change slightly.  In middle school, your daughter will become very self conscious and anything that sets her apart from her friends may not be welcome.  This stage is also one of the more trying for the mother-daughter relationship she will begin to pull away from you now.  Because of this, affirming your love for her is more important that ever.

When your daughter enters high school, you will have the opportunity to influence her choices.  Being able to do this will rest upon your personal relationship with her.  In order to help guide her to make the right choices about friends, boyfriends, even about smoking and drugs, she will need to know that she can trust you – no matter what.  It is still important for you to affirm your love for her, even if she seems to resist, she will appreciate it. 

When you start sending your daughter loving and affirming "I Treasure You" notes at a young age, you set the stage for a great relationship with your daughter at any stage.  The bond that you are building now will grow into something truly special as she becomes a woman and a mother.

Go on to read the next article: Affirming the Special Connection Between Moms and Sons