Modern Challenges that Divorced and Single Mothers Face in Raising Children 

In the world today, it is not uncommon for children to be raised by a single parent.  With divorce rates up, more children and parents are finding themselves in this situation.  However, just because something is common, does not make it easy.  For divorced mothers and single mothers alike, raising children can be very difficult.

A mothers’ love for children does not suffer because she is single, and her parenting skills needn’t either.  However, parenting children between the ages of 6 and 18 is difficult for anyone, and a single mother faces a different set of obstacles when raising her children then do her married counterparts.  There is no husband to hand the children off to if the day has been stressful, no one to help when a child is sick or misbehaving and no one to comfort you when you need it. 

Children in this age range are changing on a daily basis, making parenting even tougher.  When they are young they are just beginning to become independent, one minute they are pushing you away and the next they are hanging on you like a toddler.  Unfortunately, for the single or divorced mother, teenagers are much the same.  They desperately want their independence, but still have so much to learn about the world and they need you to guide them.

One of the best things that you can do for your children, and for yourself, is to consistently affirm your love for them.  Let them know on a daily basis that they are loved and adored, no matter what your day may have been like or how poor their behavior may have been.  Children, especially at this stage in their lives, become unsure about themselves and about where they stand with the people in their lives, and that includes mom.  They need to be reminded that no matter what, you still love them.

So how do you do this?  The simplest way to let your children know how much you love them is through a written "I Treasure You" note.  This can be something simple, a joke or even a smiley face tucked in to a young child’s lunch box.  Children love to open their lunches and find something from mom.  They will show their friends and teachers and will undoubtedly be the subject of envy. Then, the child can keep the note in a Treasuring Chest and look at it again and again as the days and weeks pass. Having a Treasuring Chest to store all of these notes will give the child a sense of ongoing affirmation that can be revisited even years later.

When affirming to older children and teens, the "I Treasure You" note cards and a Treasuring Chest is a great tool. Placing notes near the Treasuring Chest or even mailing their notes to them will help them be more accepting of the message that you are wanting to get through.  These written notes can be a way to open the door to discussions of touchy subjects. Teenagers are often embarrassed when a parent tells them they love them; these letters and notes are a great way for a single mother to tell her child that she is proud of them without embarrassing them.  A teenager will save the notes and read them often, thus reminding themselves that they are indeed loved.

The next time that your child has managed to leave you at your wits end, take a minute to breathe and then write them a nice "I Treasure You" note telling them how much you love them.  Take the note and put it next to their pillow where they will see it in the morning.  It will be a great experience for both of you.

Link to next article: Making a Positive Difference by Affirming the Daughter-Mother Relationship