Family Affirmation of Teenagers During Teen Development

Teen development is a challenging time for many teenagers. The family of a teenager can help provide a parenting influence that affirms teens during adolescence along with practical ways to communicate, affirm and build self confidence. Adjusting the "I Treasure You" approach to the challenges of the teenagers will make the entire family pull together for a "family win."

Every teen needs the community offered by a family, with the feeling of being connected is often a tug of war as a teenager strives to develop a greater sense of independence. Parents and siblings can combine efforts to show their support and understanding to the teenagers in the family as they undergo some of the most challenging growth experiences in their lives. Using a family "I Treasure You" approach can help provide a strong emotional bond of love and kindness as a teen encounters the difficult growth years.

Let's consider how the "I Treasure You" approach of family affirmation of teenagers can address three common challenges that most teenagers face. First, imagine that your teenager is having difficulty with peer pressure and the need to belong at school. Often, a teenage boy or girl is heavily influenced to "fit in" with a particular group of friends and may sacrifice his or her personality to feel accepted by the group. This can lead to a denial of his or her natural personality and without outside affirmation, may drift from their very individuality. Siblings, parents and extended family members can write "I Treasure You" notes that affirm a teenagers unique gifts and individual personality. Using treasuring thoughts like, "Jan has a great sense of humor and makes me laugh with her jokes," can help a teenage girl focus on her own gift of humor without having to adopt a style that is not her. Younger brothers and sisters can write an simple affirmation like, "Dan is really helpful to me and I look up to him." When a teenage boy knows that he is a role model to his younger brothers and sisters, he lives up to the higher vision and trust that is given to him.

A second challenge that many teens face is their studies and classroom performance. With more demanding classes and the pull of more outside involvement, teenagers can often be distracted from their school work. An "I Treasure You" note can include a family affirmation that recognizes the classroom victories. Writing something like "Alice is a great student and she shares her learning with me" can inspire her to continue her good example to her brothers and sisters. Being encouraging when failures occur is a great way to use an "I Treasure You" note. For example, when Bill fails a test, an affirmation like, "Bill takes his studies seriously and comes back stronger after a bad test" can lift Bill's confidence and self esteem to better next time.

A third situation that confronts most teenagers is the pace of their physical development during their teen development years. Parents and family members who are sensitive and alert to body changes can affirm teenagers by focusing on the good points of the development process. For example, if Charlie is out for sports and is training his muscles, write an "I Treasure You" note that affirms his strength growing into a young man. "If Carol is wearing braces and is self-conscious about her smile, write an "I Treasure You" note about how her laugh is catching and makes you laugh. (You can't laugh without smiling.)

There are many more situations, occasions and events that celebrate the development and growth process that teenagers go through. A family that uses affirmations and the "I Treasure You" approach can ease the growing pains and build self esteem. Be aware of the opportunity to use the process and affirm your teenagers. Remember, the family that treasures together finds pleasure together.