The Importance of  Self Confidence and Self Esteem in Children

There are so many pressures on children today that their self-esteem can take a beating. While you don't want your child to be arrogant, you do want them to have a good sense of who they are. It is important for your child to know that whoever they are is OK. Kids’ self-esteem can be a hard thing to gage, but with a few tips you can help raise your child's low self-esteem.

Self-esteem, self-respect, and self-confidence may seem interchangeable, but there are subtle differences. The definitions here are taken from Dictionary.com. Self-esteem is defined as 'a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself'. Self-respect means 'proper esteem or regard for the dignity of one's character'. Self-confidence is described as 'realistic confidence in one's own judgment, ability, power, etc.' All of these things are important to a child's mental and emotional well being.

All children experience social difficulty at one point or another.  It is essential to know when that difficulty is causing low self-esteem.  If your child seems to constantly believe that no one likes him or her and resists going to social gatherings, this can be a sign of low self-esteem.  Children who have had a history of failure at things will be hesitant to try new things for fear of rejection.  Another symptom of low self-confidence is constant self put-downs.  Kids often feel that they are worthless and it will hurt less if they degrade themselves instead of waiting for someone else to.  Writing an "I Treasure Note" that uses positive and specific affirmations is crucial to helping these hurting children feel good about themselves again.

Conversely, there are some ways to tell if your child has high self-esteem also.  In general, these children have positive relationships with their parents and others around them.  They are more outgoing and hold themselves confidently.  Children with high self-esteem are able to control themselves and make wise decisions.  They are more likely to be trusted with more responsibility and feel that they are up to the task.  A child with high self-esteem will get along well with others around them. You can always increase the level of self confidence by affirming your child with an "I Treasure You" note.

A lack of confidence in children and teens can be very damaging to their mental and emotional health.  It is important that parents do their best to cultivate a positive self-image in their children.  One way to accomplish this is to praise your kids for specific things they have done. Specific compliments have more lasting value than a general 'Good Job.' An "I Treasure You" note that focuses on an accomplishment or a specific occasion is something that you child can keep and read over and over again. Another tip is to listen to your child.  When an adult actively listens to a child it reaffirms that they think that child is important.  Fostering self-esteem in your kids is a fundamental part of child rearing.

Link to next article: How Words of Respect and Love Build Self Esteem in Children and Teens